He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
