someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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