I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
