dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
dude. I can hear the air.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
