Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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