I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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