I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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