Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sobbing to NWA
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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