Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
