I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
