Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
