Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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