It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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