Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
