I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sponge bath it is.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
