Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
