He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
