Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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