did you get engaged???
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
