I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
