i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
