8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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