u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
