they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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