I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize