Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
