You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
