I'm eating all of the evidence.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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