at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
