Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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