I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
