I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
