This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
is it fun? or sober?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize