It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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