Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
