D3 body, D1 cock
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if only i could text you this smell
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
