I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
