Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
