Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize