Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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