We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
