so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
