shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think i peed on brittanys purse
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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