Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
