I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize