i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
