Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize