It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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