We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
