I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize