she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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