And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
