Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
