I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
