this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
