This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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