The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
