u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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