two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can you bring me the toilet please
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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