Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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