He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize