Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize