Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
