I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
