We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
