I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hippo gnu deer
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
