Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
