I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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