How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
