he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
